GAYLETTER

GAYLETTER

Hosting 101

Give your guests something to remember

Upgrade that beer to something better: Serving beer at home should generally be reserved for themed events — e.g., playing video games whilst eating pizza — but one simple trick can transform beer into a beverage for many occasions. For this upgrade, we recommend a chilled German lager. Look for a color that reminds you of sunset, not dawn. Pour it into an important glass to the height of three inches, accounting for settled foam. (Seven grid lines on the glass, pictured, by Nude Design Team. Be precise)

 

Place the glass in front of your guest — and with a subtle flick of the wrist, drop a dose of CBD oil into the beer. This is a chance to show off your personality. The natural earthiness of the oil will be a welcome complement to the taste of most ales. And your beer is now a tonic, with which your guests will, with each sip, slip ever deeper into the relaxation of the evening.

 

Host Michael transforms a beer with just a drop.

0 calories, 100% fabulous: This is a dessert for all diets. First, instruct your guest to offer a palm. Serve in said palm one conservative dollop of scented, vegan, hand cream. Further instruct your guest to rub their hands together — get that lotion in motion.

 

Next, ask your guest to raise their hands into a circular rotation, wafting air toward the face, all the while inhaling the aroma. You’ve just had dessert. What are you having? With Resurrection Aromatique Hand Balm from Aesop, we’re enjoying a mandarin martini. Other guests have reported tangerine sorbet, grapefruit shortcake, orange macarons…with the right imagination, the menu is long indeed.

 

Host Michael demonstrates dessert.

0 calories, 100% fabulous: This is a dessert for all diets. First, instruct your guest to offer a palm. Serve in said palm one conservative dollop of scented, vegan, hand cream. Further instruct your guest to rub their hands together — get that lotion in motion.

 

Next, ask your guest to raise their hands into a circular rotation, wafting air toward the face, all the while inhaling the aroma. You’ve just had dessert. What are you having? With Resurrection Aromatique Hand Balm from Aesop, we’re enjoying a mandarin martini. Other guests have reported tangerine sorbet, grapefruit shortcake, orange macarons…with the right imagination, the menu is long indeed.

 

Host Michael demonstrates dessert.

0 calories, 100% fabulous: This is a dessert for all diets. First, instruct your guest to offer a palm. Serve in said palm one conservative dollop of scented, vegan, hand cream. Further instruct your guest to rub their hands together — get that lotion in motion.

 

Next, ask your guest to raise their hands into a circular rotation, wafting air toward the face, all the while inhaling the aroma. You’ve just had dessert. What are you having? With Resurrection Aromatique Hand Balm from Aesop, we’re enjoying a mandarin martini. Other guests have reported tangerine sorbet, grapefruit shortcake, orange macarons…with the right imagination, the menu is long indeed.

 

Host Michael demonstrates dessert.

Pro Tip: To boost aromas, place lotion in palms and clap vigorously à la Nancy Pelosi.

Ashing is an experience, too: “Where should I ash?” is a query you should never hear from your guest — it’s just tacky. Searching for a place to ash is a strenuous experience for everyone involved. We’re just trying to get high and now there’s a crisis.

 

Every host should have at home a well-placed, weighted, designer crystal ashtray. Ashing is a poetic reminder that nothing lasts forever. So, distract your guests from regret with the hypnotizing details of a Medusa Lumière Ashtray by Versace.

 

 

A joint delicately rests on the Versace ashtray inviting you to look at the details of the Medusa design. If you have weed, you will never be home alone.

 

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