GAYLETTER

Tanner Cohen plays Scotty in the new, and first, gay HBO mini-series ‘Looking‘ that just aired this Sunday evening. We watched a couple episodes of the show and to be honest that threesome scene was one of the things that stood out the most to us. Tanner gives a very believable performance as the scene evolves. He’s the most real part of the trio. We sat down with him to have a chat over some hot sake — we talked about lots of things from that threesome, San Francisco vs. New York, being a “possibility model,” and how to find a man…

Did you draw from a real life experience for the threesome scene? Yeah, I did. The dynamic between a pre-existing couple is obviously something that is private, and I have had experiences where I’ve been the third party, so I tried to put myself in that position again. It’s actually a really safe position when it’s good, and it was really important for me that this story felt safe and authentic and that the emotions and the way we touched each other and moved around each other was the way real guys do. So I did draw a lot from personal experiences when we shot the scenes.

Do you think all actors are natural exhibitionists? I think that all actors have something going on inside that they feel no choice but to express through pretending to be someone else, but I don’t think that it necessarily is an exhibition of themselves. I think more actors are interested in telling other people’s stories. It depends on what kind of actor they are. This show happens to be designed to tell the true gay modern man’s story, so there’s something exhibitionist about the way this show is written and the way it was set up. You could say any artist or performer is an exhibitionist because there’s something they have to get off their chest, but I don’t think it’s that actors are exhibitionists in maybe the true sense of the word.

In that threesome scene, was everybody gay? No, they weren’t.

Did you sense any discomfort? No. Everyone knew what they were signing up for when they did this show.

Do you think there is a big difference between the gay scene in San Francisco and New York? Outside and inside of the show, how do you think it manifests? I’ve never lived in San Francisco, but I think gay communities are different everywhere. There is a certain freewheeling, free-loving vibe about San Francisco that doesn’t prosper as much in New York, because San Francisco is a city that is less image-conscious and image-based and the type of things that people are doing and the types of art people are making are a little less mainstream. It’s also California, so it just has a different energy to it. The weather, the geography, the food, the cultures that are established there are different than in New York. Each of them have a different gay history, each of them have a different place in gay history, so that has an effect on the communities there. There are a lot of similarities, but I definitely think the San Francisco gay community is an especially warm and inviting one.

Ok… warm and inviting. But you haven’t spent much time there? The longest I’ve been in San Francisco is a week, but I lived in LA and I was going to San Francisco all the time. I had a boyfriend that lived right near San Francisco, so we went all the time, and when I shot ‘Looking’ I was there a few times. It’s a place I’d really love to live…I think.

Why do you think you’ll like to live there? It’s hard to describe why a city is appealing, but there’s a spirit and people’s freak flags really fly high.

Do you think gays are nicer in SF than NY? No, not necessarily. It’s just a different type of… I don’t know what it is. It’s just looser. Queerer.

Do you think they have evolved less in comparison with New York? I don’t think you can really qualify the evolution of the gay community in either city. They each have their own personalities and own characteristics and they’re both fabulous and they’re both frustrating, I’m sure. They’re both queeny and hard, I’m sure. It depends on your circle.

It’s probably unfair to make a comparison…

Tanner Cohen as Scotty in the TV series ‘Looking’

Frankie J. Alvarez (Agustín) and Tanner Cohen (Scotty) before their threesome.

What do you think the show ‘Looking’ is trying to accomplish? Everyone who saw it had different opinions. I’m curious what you think it’s trying to accomplish now, in 2014? I think it’s trying to create a possibility model. I’m just kidding.

OMG, did you see that interview? Laverne Cox is everything… Obviously I saw that. No, I think ‘Looking’ is trying to give an example of a slightly more subtle, honest portrayal of gay lifestyles in a city that we have never had before. I think it’s trying to speak to a group of people that exist now and have never existed before and it’s speaking to them at the moment that they’re around and it’s extremely topical. It’s not about sexuality in general, it’s just about right now. I think there’s something incredibly powerful about that. I would say the gay generation that I identify with responds to that type of nowness, and I think that’s what Looking is trying to do. Nothing spectacular, nothing fantastic, and really nothing that incredibly sexy or risqué. Kind of just this is us now, hopefully.

Now that you’re bringing up nowness and what boys are doing now, what we’re doing now, we’re lucky to be gay men in 2014. Do you have any recommendations for boys that are looking to meet other boys? What do you think they should do? What’s your approach? My recommendation for meeting people? Well, always say hi to someone that you think is cute. If you see someone around your neighborhood, always say hi to them, because there’s no harm in making a new friend. If you feel like shit go out, don’t stay alone because you might meet somebody great. Let your friends be right in taking you out. That’s normally a time when I’m really primed to talk and meet someone is when I don’t think I am. I don’t know, as far as meeting people on the Internet, or in person, or at a bar or all that kind of thing, I have no idea. I think you need to do whatever the fuck you want. If you’re looking for sex, then look for sex. If you’re looking to find a boyfriend, then go for that. Everyone’s story is their own thing.

So basically you’re saying say hi, do whatever you need to do to get what you need to get. Just be open to it. Be vulnerable to the fact that people want to meet each other. I think a lot of the time in my group of friends, in our community, we think that we should meet people a certain way or that people should come to us, but I think it’s really important, especially when you’re in a marginalized community, if we can even call ours that anymore, to extend some sort of social something. Like hey, I see you around. Or hey, I think you’re cute. Or hey, I know you from this. Everyone’s so connected now but I don’t think people make enough actual connections with each other.

Do you think people should try to make more connections? Yeah. And I think Looking in one sense means searching and in another sense it means just seeing. Opening your eyes to the fact that there are people around you and you just have to open your mouth first.

It’s interesting because everywhere I am I always looking around, even if I’m being inappropriate, because I don’t want to miss anything. I think I’d feel ashamed to miss something.

What would you do if you were in a city that you’re not familiar with? New York, San Francisco, you know their norms. If you’re lonely and you want to meet a man, you don’t necessarily want to have sex but you want the company of a man? What would you do? Have you felt that way? Yeah. Recently I was in Germany alone. I didn’t know anyone there, but I had friends of friends there, so I was able to connect with people. But there were a few times where I would find myself alone in a bar and you take the night minute by minute. It’s not that hard to meet people. You just start talking to them.

Could you be in a three-way relationship? I never have, so I don’t know. I guess not-no is my answer.

Which celebrity do you most wish would come out? I mean we’re in 2014. Hmm… I wish that Kristen Stewart would come out of the closet.

Do you think she’s a lesbian? I don’t know.

Is it important for you to play a gay role as a gay man? Yeah, of course.

Why is that important? Because I take a certain sense of pride in playing gay parts and making them honest and real and new. I didn’t grow up with any cool gay characters in movie or TV that I looked up to, so I would love to be a part of those projects that I can give those examples to people in. And it’s fun to be gay and play gay people.

Do you think it took a long time for HBO to have an only-gay show? Do you think it’s the right time for it? I think we’re comfortable being gay, we’re progressive people, but when you think about it, HBO is a very forward-thinking channel. I think HBO has always been on the forefront of putting gay characters on TV, telling their stories for real, talking about their lived experiences and I think it’s a perfect place for this type of show. I think nothing happens too late when it comes to this type of thing. This couldn’t have happened any minute earlier. I’m just glad it’s happening now. I don’t know if it should have happened before. Now is the time.

What’s next for Tanner? I’m busy writing a book right now, so I don’t know. We’ll see. I would like to be doing more acting but I really enjoy writing books, so I’m gonna try to manage my time better so I can do a little of both. But yeah, I don’t have any other acting things in the pipeline right now.