GAYLETTER

Have you seen the trees jizz blooming? If you hadn’t noticed, these fluffy white flowers that cover most of the trees in our fair city smell exactly like semen and every spring they never fail to put us in the mood. Summertime sluttiness is only a few months away — but why wait?

Enjoy some tunes from NEOCAMP on Soundcloud.

MONDAY 4/28



HOT FRUIT @ METROPOLITAN (559 LORIMER ST.) David Sokolowski — any nearly every fairy in NYC — may be outta town this week, but don’t you worry, he tasked #GIANT Will Sheridan with taking over his weekly Brooklyn artfag dance party while he’s away. Performances by SirCharles, Angi3 and Malic So Chic, video art by Ethan Weinstock and music by DJs Econ and Lorant. 10:00PM, FREE!

BATHSALTS @ DON PEDRO (90 MANHATTAN AVE.) Break out your brass knuckles, this week you’re invited to CAT FIGHT CLUB. The first rule of Cat Fight Club? Buy Macy Rodman a drink or she’ll shove her foot so far up your ass you’ll taste her duct-taped pumps. 9:00PM, FREE!

TUESDAY 4/29
 

 
TAROT TUESDAYS @ TANDEM (236 TROUTMAN ST.) OK, here’s the T. Popular Bushwick collective WITCHES are not actually witches — its more about a bunch of freaks coming together and finding power in their other-ness. Either that, or they’re cashing in on a tumblr aesthetic. Slutever. Their girl Tiffany will read your cards over brunch at Tandem, with music by the “witches” themselves. NOON, FREE-ISH.

NEVERENDING NIGHTS @ LE BAIN (846 WASHINGTON ST.) Clearly, we think nightlife is a fascinating subject, and this week you get the chance to hear stories about what’s kept NYC nightlife alive endlessly adapting for decades from some after-dark legends: Anita Sarko, David Rabin and Ladyfag. Join them as they try to piece together, from half-forgotten memories, what’s unique about this city’s parties, what’s happening now, and what the future might hold.  7:30PM, FREE!

WALPURGIS WARMUP/NU MOON RITUAL @ CATLAND (987 FLUSHING AVE.) Our favorite Bushwick magick shop hosts this performance ritual in three parts, featuring Dark Sister, Fine Peduncle and a mystery guest (we know who it is and it’s good, you’ll just have to show up and find out). Persona La Ave will be on hand as the evening’s “angelic chorus” and DJs JX Cannon and Molly Sci-Rez will spin before and after the rituals. 10:00PM, $13.

LOCALLY GROWN PRESENTS: P U L P F I K T I O N @ TANDEM (236 TROUTMAN ST.) The Bushwick drag scene is, like, really blowing up right now, didn’t you see that issue of Out Magazine? See some of our favorite Bushwick queens prove why Brooklyn is where its at. Lady Simon, Sick Nasty, Untitled Queen and Di Ba give showsshowsshows (which will all be loosely based on Tarantino films, we’re sure)  while Hamm Sandwich and Charmin Ultra MC the night’s festivities. BPro Elektro has the beats. 11:00PM, FREE!

WEDNESDAY 4/30


 
BELTANE @ LE PETIT VERSAILLES For those of us who couldn’t make it to Tennessee for Beltane, this is the NYC celebration for radical faeries. Wednesday night, celebrate by tearing down and burning last year’s maypole before the erection of this year’s the next day. 7:00PM, DONATIONS ACCEPTED.

 
THURSDAY 5/1
 

 
DANDY UNDRESSED @ DIXON PLACE (161A CHRYSTIE ST.) Dandy Darkly spins terrifyingly amusing queer tales and this reading of his new work, Dandy Darkly’s Pussy Panic, will is sure to be fantastically frightening. 7:30PM, FREE!

FRIDAY 5/2

 

MAPPLETHORPE @ BROOKLYN ARTS EXCHANGE (421 FIFTH AVE.) Max Steele’s new show doesn’t actually have anything to do with famed gay photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. Instead, this cabaret intervention, about a gay reggae singer, is “a kind of service, a product or device. A disposable personality, a soulless soul-singer, a TV character set to self-destruct, a eulogy to stay alive, a pop star designed for rancor. A lover who cannot bear the weight of the spotlight and whose incineration glimmers on command.” OK, we’re down. 8:00PM, $15/$8 LOW INCOME.

SHUGA @ OLIVIA (1073 ATLANTIC AVE.) We went to this party last month and it was pretty much exactly what we were expecting from a self-proclaimed “gay burner party”: a bunch of hot weirdos dancing around all night, very obviously on…something…in revealing and/or outrageous clothing. This month’s offering is stepping up its game with guest DJs Nita Aviance, one of our absolute favorites. Alex Moe also DJs and Isis Vermouth performs. 9:00PM, $15 ADVANCE/$20 DOOR.




SATURDAY 5/3

 

BE CUTE @ ONE LAST SHAG (348 FRANKLIN AVE.) Come celebrate Horrorchata’s birthday at her super cute Clinton Hill turn-up. DiCap, Merkin Muffley and Horrochata’s alter-ego Matty Beats have the tunes while Merrie Cherry and Cherry Pepsi (YES to the theme) give showsshowsshows. 10:00PM, FREE!

THE MR(S) WILLIAMSBURG FINALS @ LULU’S (113 FRANKLIN ST.) The moment is finally here. Your finalists are: Charlene, Chris of Hur, Aja and Wildcard! Cherry Delight. See who takes home the crown at that Greenpoint bar that isn’t allowed to become a gay bar. 10:30PM, FREE!

MADHOUSE @ WRECK ROOM (940 FLUSHING AVE.) JX Cannon’s monthly rager is always hot, but now its gotten out of control with GLOBAL WARMING. Satanic burlesque act Lena Marquise likes to pull things out of her pussy so you don’t want to miss that, and Charlene will either be celebrating her Mr(s) Williamsburg victory or letting you buy her drinks to drown her sorrow. Culture Whore‘s Mark Dommu is hosting alongside babes like Trey LaTrash, Kitchie and Charlie Sheena, so its pretty much a guaranteed good time. JX, Poolboy92 and Teeburr spin all night. 10:00PM, FREE!

CHERYL @ SECRET PROJECT ROBOT (389 MELROSE ST.) This arty party is always fun and fully committed to its themes, so dial in to the PSYCHIC FRIENDS NETWORK and have some visions of a good time. DJ Lloydski (Tiki Disco), DJ Nick (CHERYL resident DJ), and DJ Lady DM spin nu-disco, psychic electro, and brain house that will enable you to communicate with your Future Past Self in a parallel dance floor dimension. 11:00PM, $5 BEFORE MIDNIGHT/$10 AFTER.

 


SUNDAY 5/4

SLEEP IN, GURL. YOU EARNED IT!