GAYLETTER

Anyone can take a photo of their food, but not everyone can take a GOOD photo of their food. And to be honest, if you don’t know how to take a pretty photo of your meal, just don’t. Nobody wants to see your badly lit, soggy schnitzel in their timeline. Food Photography 101 is a class at the Brooklyn Brewery lead by Clay Williams, whose work has appeared in Brownstoner and Gothamist and Sharon Radisch, who work has been featured in Epicurious and a bunch of other respectable publications. These pros will give audience members tips on how to turn their food photos from drab to fab (I’ve always wanted to write that). The two hour lesson is free to members of Edible Manhattan and Edible Brooklyn, otherwise it’s $10. There’s a chance to meet the photogs after, and of course plenty of opportunities to snap a few instagram pics. #nofilter  —tom

It’s sweltering outside so this event is a no-brainer. The Aviator Sports and Events Center (yeah, I’ve never heard of it either) is hosting probably the funest thing you’ll do all summer: a giant adults-only water balloon fight. “Participants will be divided in two teams and will try to douse each other with as many water balloons as possible. Inflatable obstacles provide cover to make the game a little more interesting…” The event has a DJ and is well organized. You don’t have to do anything but show up. Some balloons are even filled with food tie to “spice things up.” I think an event like this could be a really great way to get out some stress. I recommend inviting a friend or co-worker you have issues with. Throw a couple of dozen water balloons at them with full force and I reckon you’ll soon be over your issues.  —tom

My friend Peter told me that I must go to The Lefrak Center at Lakeside - Prospect Park for a roller blade disco party. I looked into it and it doesn’t really seem to be a gay party, I saw an illustration of a white lady on the site, which is not necessarily promising — but come on, disco, roller blades and cocktails? Who are we kidding? This sounds like a perfect Summer activity to me. Peter also mentioned to me that the last time he went there were some hot boys in short shorts and it’s adults only: “you won’t run over any kids.” Good, because as Samantha Jones would say children can be assholes and we can only imagine the trouble that you would get into with their parents if you ran over one. Anyways, whatever it is, here’s a great opportunity to queer this park up. I’d say put your sluttier outfit on, get as drunk as possible and skate on over. Think Beyoncé in her video Blow (pictured). Oh one more thing, the park is beautiful and there’s less tourists than in Central Park. We’re sold!  —Abi

We’re into the kinds of sports you can play with a cold drink in one hand and a sporting device in the other, badminton is one of those. If you want to play it well it’s probably best to place your glass of rose on the ground, but you can still win a few points minimal spillage. We started the tradition of playing badminton in Prospect Park on nice days last summer and we’ve been waiting all year for the weather to get warm enough for us to head outside with our shuttlecocks and picnic basket in hand. This Sunday we suggest you find a flat, clean area of grass, in the park of your choice, and set up court. You can get a badminton kit from most sports stores. It’s one of those activities (like pool) that you seem to get better at the drunker you are. Which is perfect, because by 6:00PM we are usually shitfaced and taking the game way too seriously — that was IN mother fucker!!!!!! Badminton is for bad bitches.  —tom

In case you didn’t know we have an intimate 420 party every year, the last one we even had a photographer from the magazine Put A Egg On It! came to take photos of our lovely home made dessert treats. This year is super annoying cause 420 is on a Monday, you know lots of us can’t chill that day because we have to get things done. This Sunday get together with some love ones and hit the THC. I don’t care what your preference in strain is just stick to the best quality possible. I recommend you to not make any emotional calls or get involved in any drama, it will just ruin your 420 celebration, keep it light and present. Turn on YouTube and sing some random songs, it’s so much fun to sing when you are high. Make sure you make your entire day blurry, go outside and take long walks, if you can go to a park and chill do that. I am so excited to bake some threats, who’s in? AND Why isn’t this legal in New York City yet?  —Abi

The Metropolitan Museum of Art always overwhelms me, unless I’m going to a fierce, impeccably curated show by the Costume Institute I’m totally lost — it’s just so cavernous. So you can imagine my excitement when I discovered Oscar Wilde Tours provide a ground-breaking guided exploration of the homoerotic art in the museum’s permanent collection. I’ll admit, all the other journalists on the press tour (I took one snowy night in March) were taking copious notes, I just kicked back and enjoyed the two hour experience, it was magic. Professor Andrew Lear, who lead the tour and founded the company, was so knowledgeable about everything queer from the ancient Greek nudes to the contemporary works of the 20th century, I could have listened to him talk for hours. Yes, there’s Michelangelo’s Cupid and Picasso’s iconic portrait of Gertrude Stein but there is so much more Andrew unearths that it barely fits in the two hour experience. The concept is genius, exploring all things homoerotic/queer in varying cultures and can be applied elsewhere hence the company’s other offerings of gay guided tours of the EV, Greenwich village and gay Italy as the brochure proclaims from “Caesar to Michelangelo and beyond.” I’m hoping professor Andrew will be so enamored by this post that he’ll offer to bring me on the next tour of Italy as his boy toy-although that’s a stretch as I turn 52 May 7th. OK, you must check this out, tours start this Friday at the Met, go, go, go.  —Gayletter

NYC is a considerably safe city, but as a queer person, it can still be rough. I’ve had my fair share of days where some asshole has verbally attacked me, calling me a faggot or tried to pick a dumb fight, so it’s probably helpful to have a few defense tricks. I’m not telling you to run out of the house and pick a fight, but hey, being prepared can’t hurt. This monthly wrestling workshop might be all you need to feel safer. “Come and learn the basics of friendly submission wrestling! This grappling workshop is open to all levels and is especially oriented toward beginners...Based on Brazilian jiujitsu, our form of submission wrestling emphasizes controlling holds, escapes, and non-striking attacks to make your opponent “tap out” (“submissions”)” It’s a great workout, or a great excuse to wrestle with someone for fun — sometimes that can get very sexual. Wear comfortable athletic clothing, “anything that allows easy movement and isn’t overly baggy… no belts or buckles, please.” Don’t look sloppy, use your common sense.  —Abi

Spring is coming, I don’t care if it’s cold at the moment, or what the weather app on my iPhone says, I can feel it in me bones — the seasons are changing GOD DAMMIT! And with the change of seasons comes a chance to change something in your life. We don’t care what you do, but you owe it to your pagan ancestors to shake some shit up, so why not start with your apartment, or your room? Spring is the season of renew. So re-paint your bedroom, replace a piece of furniture that’s getting old, replant something, re-arrange your place, remove something you no longer use (ie. give away some old clothes, then use the receipt as a deduction on your taxes). Change something, anything. It may be scary at first, but it’s the best thing you could do for yourself, just ask a neuroscientist. Apparently every time you change your surroundings, you create new neural connections — you literally expand your mind. So what are you waiting for? Spring to it!  —t&a

I just opened my weather app on my phone and I am thinking where the hell should people go this Wednesday? Not to sound like a NYC broken record, but this weather is not right. I recommend you to stay in, keep your day simple. No parties, no hookups, no events, no nothing. Disconnect from the world and reconnect with yourself. Masturbation is important, at GAYLETTER we do it very often, and look how relaxed we are. One orgasm away from a coma! This week we want you to try something new. Something you probably haven’t done in a while — masturbate using nothing but your brain. That’s right, no TUMBLR, no DVD’s, no magazines and especially no iPhones. Just you and your penis, getting to know each other again. Turn off the lights, light a candle, think of a past hookup or think of nothing. Take as long as you need, this isn’t a race honey. It may feel weird at first, but give into it. Your brain is much more powerful than any 2D image. Yes darl, isn’t it lovely? You can thank us after you clean up.  —t&a