GAYLETTER

Having a small dick must really suck. I get that it probably won’t ruin your life (unless of course you have a “micro penis,” yes that’s a real condition) but still no one’s every excited to discover you have a tiny weiner. When Patrick Moote’s girlfriend rejected his marriage proposal at a UCLA basketball game on the jumbotron, it went viral and made all the TV networks. Days after he got dumped in front of the whole world his girlfriend told him the real reason why she was leaving him: his small dick. (What a cunt!) Unhung Hero “is the real life journey of Patrick as he boldly sets out to expose this extremely personal chapter of his life by confronting ex-girlfriends, doctors, anthropologists and even adult film stars.” The reason the film is so successful is because Patrick isn’t afraid to put it all out there. No, we don’t ever get to see his little fella, but he isn’t afraid to let you into every aspect of his dating and sex life (even setting up a confession cam at a party so his friends and ex-girlfriends can freely discuss his little willy). The film is full of interesting interviews with all kinds of dickperts from condom makers, to Korean plastic surgeons to this dude who invented a technique to lengthen your penis by stretching it out for 20 mins each night (I think I already do that, isn’t that called masturbation?) Regardless of the size of your D this film will make you feel good about your manhood — if your peen is bigger than 3 inches, then compared to Patrick you’re doing alright and if it’s less, well, let’s just say Patrick’s story has a happy ending.  —tom

We were given a screener for this film by IFC, which meant we could watch it in the comfort of Abi’s apartment last Sunday night with some pizza and wine (it’s the only way we like to watch our French lesbian love stories). I’d heard ALOT of talk about the film before it came out: the public spats between the director and the two stars (the director was a nightmare to work with) the accolades it received from the Cannes Film Festival (Spielberg, who was head judge, broke with tradition and awarded the film, the director and both stars with the Palme d’Or) and all the rumors about the sex scenes (apparently all real). Also, I’d heard it was 3 hours long, so was preparing myself for a marathon. As we got into it, the films length was the last thing on my mind. What struck me most was realizing how few lesbian love stories I’d seen on film. Honestly I can’t name the last, and I run GAYLETTER! Thankfully the film has more going for it than the gender of its protagonist. It’s a story of first love and how thrilling, scary, and confusing that can be. I found it incredibly relatable and even as a gay man, sooo hot. These girls, especially the main character Adele (Adèle Exarchopoulos) are beautiful, and their sex scenes are so real you can’t help but feel a little pervy for watching them. I highly recommend you see this film, just don’t take your dad or a first date. That could get a little awks.  —tom

A “must see for the queerly inclined” ‘The Cockettes’ tells the tumultuous and groundbreaking story of the psychedelic theatre group of male and female hippies that rocked the counterculture to it’s core. It was the year 1969 in the Haight Ashbury section of San Francisco where a drag queen called Hibiscus corralled her roommates to put their crazed, cross dressing LSD fueled lifestyle on stage. Total sexual anarchy reigned as the troupe sang and danced their way to national attention with original shows titled, “Journey to the Center of Uranus, Tinsel Tarts in a Hot Coma and Pearls Over Shanghai.” As part of Queer New York International Arts Festival 2013 The Cockettes is being screened AND filmmaker David Weissman will be on hand to discuss his works. It’s never too early to take a “trip” so get out the glitter, drop some e, do a bump, light up, get in the mood and meet us for an afternoon of dazzling entertainment.  —Gayletter

“Losing a loved one is devastating enough but to then be rendered legally insignificant only makes the pain worse.” In this compelling documentary directed by Clinton pal Linda Bloodworth-Thomason this sad fact is brought to life as the story of Tom and Shane, two committed lovers torn apart by tragic death, is told in touching detail. You may know their story — Shane made a YouTube tribute to Tom titled, ‘It Could Happen To You’ that received 3.4 million hits a year after his death. Tom fell off a roof in Hollywood while photographing a girlfriend and died. His homophobic family then cut Shane out of the funeral, burial and their lives. Had they been married this disturbing mess could have been averted. Oprah is screening the doc on OWN on October 27 but we are lucky enough to see the film now playing at the Quad. Bring tissues, I was in tears just minutes into the film, the boy’s love so poignant, their story so profound.  —Gayletter

Gravity has received so much buzz, and sooo many glowing reviews (it only opened on Thursday night but already has a 96% rating on Rotten Tomatoes) we knew we had to check it out. And boy did it live up to the hype. Directed by Alfonso Cuarón, who first gained critical acclaim for his hot film ‘Y Tu Mamá También’ starring a young Diego Luna and Gael García Bernal, he’s been working on Gravity for the last 4 and a half years. If you’ve managed to see any of the trailers you would know that his patience has certainly paid off; it looks incredible. Starring George Clooney and boring ass Sandra Bullock (she's amazing in this), the film tells the story of what happens when shit goes wrong in outer space. This is not sci-fi, there’s no aliens, no futuristic space ships, it’s current day astronauts working on the International Space Station. Shot in IMAX with incredible special effects and utilizing robotics to create the actors appearance of weightlessness this film is as close to going to space as most of us will ever experience...And I can’t wait to see it again. It's astoundingly good. And a real trip.  —tom

Two more days left before the Divine retrospective (part of BAMcinématek series) ‘I am Divine’ closes. I’m talking about of course the “actor/singer/comedian/drag queen” Divine, who was John Waters’ “most frequent muse.” This is a perfect excuse to head to the BAM Rose Cinema theater in Brooklyn. Go see the original Hairspray, his most succesful and arguebly best film and then check out Boom! in which “Divine’s idol, Elizabeth Taylor, stars with Richard Burton in this notorious screen adaptation of Tennessee Williams’ play The Milk Train Doesn’t Stop Here Anymore.” For die hard Divine fans, and those who are just getting to know her these last two films are an absolute must. Divine was loud, proud and fat as hell. Unique talent like her doesn’t come around every day. Go show your respects.  —t&a