GAYLETTER

I was going to make a joke about beats and beets, but it seemed too easy. This week you’re getting a heaping dose of the NYC warehouse party you’ve been craving. Fruits and Vegetables is the new secret address party created by Michael Magnan and JT Almon, and trust — the two of them will be the perfect DJ daddies for the night. I have fond (but fuzzy) memories of nights on the dance floor whenever Michael performs a set, so I’ll be sure to make more this week. We asked about why the party is called fruits and vegetables, Michael said, “I mean, we just thought it was an lol- double entendre? It just is.” He gave us the low-down on what to expect, starting with how you get there; this is how you know it’s going to be legit — you have to RSVP to get the location. “To be in the know about address day of we ask you to RSVP with us on our site FNV.life… the party goes from 11:00PM to early morning… and the vibe is fruity with a vegetable twist.” In addition to sets from Michael and JT, Spanish DJ Ne/Re/A will be nourishing us with some techno. Catch me on the rooftop, I’ll probably be thirsty.  —Gayletter

Kelli, one of Issa Rae’s pals on HBO’s Insecure, recently declared that she hadn’t been “Saturday drunk on a Thursday since last week!” This was just one of those moments when a fictional character said something I related to all too well. I nearly spit out my organic mint Moroccan tea! Often, I am a drunk person, Kelli is too, and trying to act sober and not drink on weeknights is something that takes practice, self-discipline and budgeting-skills. However, I highly recommend saying fuck that to all of the above because because Tatianna from RuPaul’s season 2 and All Stars 2 is performing at Straight Acting. Tatianna’s is best known for her debutante-sounding “Choices,” and if I may, I do want to speak a bit about choices now. Peppermint recently performed at Metropolitan and I made the choice to spend my $20 cash at the bar. When Miss Runner-Up Season 9 went on stage, we had a real connection. She grabbed my hand and shook it as she sang. Much to my dismay, there was not any sort of dollar bill between my fingers, and as she shook me, I began to wish she would punch me in the face. How could I have no money left to tip this phenomenal woman? You have a motherfucking choice when you see drag queens. You can yas, you can sing along, you can yell; these are all good choices. Though, the most important choice comes down what you do with your dollars. Tati, Rify Royalty and Untitled Queen are all performing at this party. That’s three different queens you can and should tip. In order to not regret any of your choices, maybe hold off on that last beer and tip a bitch. Trust, its mega fun to get Saturday drunk on a Thursday, but you have not felt regret until a fierce drag performer shakes your vacant palm.  —Chris Stewart

The party Femme is back and this time they are bringing it to one of our favorite local bars, Eastern Bloc. “Our monthly QUEER Genderf*ck Extravaganza is back and we are pulling out all of the stops at our new home Eastern Bloc/Club Cumming! Throw on some rouge! Pump those pumps! And SMASH that Fragile Masculinity!” The party started back in January and according to Matty Glitterati (who started the party with Justin Harter and Gabriel Mina) it was a success — the party brought a “very eclectic crowd that really just wants to have a good time.” Matty will also DJ this edition of the party. Joining him for this edition as hosts are Biblegirl666, Manifestany Squirts, Justin Harter, Gabriel Mikal, Bombazeen Bean and expect performances by Minnie Tonka and Zuzuka Poderosa. “FEMME is open to all genders, nationalities, races, religions, and creeds to create beauty and sweat it out on the dance floor…” Ok work!  —Abi

Sean Spicer, the Press Secretary to the White House, resigned just a few days ago. Tragic. When I first heard, I wasn’t sure if the news came from The Onion or an actual blessing from CNN because it seemed too good to be true. The recent fixation on fake news has thrown my bullshit-o-meter out the window, it gets harder each day to wrestle with the headlines reporting on the political shitstorm surrounding that orange Cheeto. If you’re also in search of an escape from the fuckery going on at the White House, go to this party. We covered Fake Nudes back in April when it was only in its third installment. Still going strong, this party is the perfect catharsis for a country in need of a drink and some drag. I asked Candy Sterling, mother of the House of Sterling and a beautiful queen who recently hosted our Pride After Party at PublicARTS, about what makes the party special to her. She said, “we get to host it with our very best friends every week. DJ p_a_t came up with the concept for the night and brought in Sookie, Tiffany and I to host and give shows. The four of us have been friends for years, we really feel like a family and I think you get that vibe from the party.” So let the shows from the House of Sterling and the beats by DJ p_a_t take you away from it all this week. Candy said, “everyone feels laid back and comfortable enough to stay all night and get messy.” Girl, count me in.  —Gayletter

No offense, but when I started dumping the straight girls who wanted me for a GBF and befriended fierce queer women, my skin cleared, my relationship with my mother improved, and my crops were saved. JK, I’m not an Iowa gay. What I’m saying though, is that queer women and femmes are fucking amazing and the lesbian scene is HAPPENING in NYC! We’ve all messed around on Grindr, but HER, “a dating and social app mainly for female identifying people” (though they are completely “inclusive for the entire LGBTQ community”), is bringing you “something different from what already exists in the NYC lesbian scene” — CIRQUE DU SO GAY! I’m usually at parties with ripped gay guys, fierce club kids, and an occasional busted drag queen but this event sounds pretty amazing. HER is giving you rooftop dance party realness at the The DL on the LES with some sickening circus and sideshow acts by some of NYC’s best queer performers. The Brides of Burlesque are going to be eating their looks and giving shows and I just checked out the Facebook invite again — there’s going to be a fucking lion tamer named Tansy with her lion. Ok work! I don’t know about you but I’ve never simultaneously met potential hookups and befriended fellow bottoms at a gay circus, so if you’re a queer woman (or hey — just want to see some amazing performances and dance all night long) you should be down for this party — it’s for everyone!  —Gayletter