Most of the parties we profile in this newsletter follow the same general formula — there’s a specific genre of music (typically something danceable), there’s drinks, and queers throwing looks, both fierce and not-so-fierce. Clone breaks that mold a little bit. Sure, there will be drinks and queers, and probably a fair amount of controlled substances, but the point of this party doesn’t seem to be dancing, its essence is “old-school sleaze as physically close to the old Piers as possible.” To go along with the vintage porn playing inside, there will be music sourced from “the cruise bar heyday, 1976 to 1984” and spun by DJs Martin and Damian. There will be an optional $1 clothing check as well! Very yassy. So if you’re tired of the mainstream Something Special-esque parties and you feel like being a shmessy whore, check this one out. Also important to note is that the mood will be a “lax, friendly vibe” (how can it not be lax when there’s a clothing check, papa?) and you get a free shot with your $5 cover. Don’t forget your poppers. Don’t forget your kiki. Miss me with the Tina but hey, if that’s ya game, I won’t stop you from playing it. And remember: lax and friendly — so sharing is caring!
Something about basements just makes parties better. Black Flamingo is a taco joint that harbors one of nightlife’s best kept, but also not so best kept, basement dance floors. When I first visited, I ended up dancing with a bunch of British tourists who didn’t offer me any coke (rude) and struggled to not take my shirt off, so I settled for the next best thing: exposing my chest for indefinite periods of time and doing poppers alone. Parties here are intimate as fuck, considering the basement is just about as large as some apartments and can really hold maybe 70 people comfortably? I think. Luckily, it’s a true dance crowd, so everyone moves in waves, gyrating near each other, exchanging sweaty looks in the strobe light and gallivanting upstairs because that’s where the only bar is, so it never feels too blobbish when you’re dancing. This new weekly Thursday party is all about funk and I’m here for that. Expect to be familiar with nothing you hear from the night’s DJs, which is a good thing because you’ll feel free from the known and able to totally settle into the groove for the evening. The bar has a knockout cocktail menu, so don’t make the same mistake as me and end up with tequila sodas all night. As I said, it’s in a basement space and you’ll feel like a silly teenager about to rub shoulders with the cool kids in school… or maybe that’s just me fetishizing my third-tier popularity. (Everyone knew me because I was gay, hunny.) Usually we’re covering parties that are for turbo-gays, and while that’s fabulous, this is a terrific option for a lowkey night out. I mean, it’s Brooklyn, so everyone’s sexy and looks sharp, you can still find a mouth to kiss. Try the tacos and let me know how they are!
Daddy’s Dirty Disco presents: Underground Bushwick — a brand new party for Daddies, their friends and the boys and girls that love them. Sounds pretty straightforward, right? I emailed Sweet Daddy who sent us information about this party. I don’t really know who Sweet Daddy is but he told me that he’s “nobody famous, just a horny daddy with good taste in music.” I think that daddy sounds fun, that’s pretty much all we need from a daddy, well and hopefully a good budget to daddy away. “Daddy, daddy me please, I want Prada” sounds funny because I am in my 30s, but I think it’s all relative, as long the daddy has enough to be my daddy and can afford my taste then it’s all good. It looks like Johnny Dynell, Tommie Sunshine and Casey Spooner (pictured) will be playing disco, house, techno and tech house, the venue is “like if Yaffa Café and the old gay club Crow Bar had a baby,” lots of daddies and no cover. “No drink specials this time, but there’s some cute signature cocktails and cheap beers.” OK daddy!
As you all know, it’s Halloweekend. Growing up I hated Halloween because my ass hates to be afraid. I kind of still hate Halloween, because my costumes always suck thanks to my lack of planning and lack of nailing down a concrete plan for where to party in my hypothetical costume. Club Glow is what you and I should do this Halloween. Period. Glow is thrown by DeSe, Shock Value NYC and Ragga NYC, who throw some of the most diverse and heavy-hitting parties around the city. This same team of promoters had a wildly successful party for NYE and have returned with a Halloween party featuring a lineup that’s as much of a carry as Juliana Huxtable’s Twitter. (If you don’t follow her, you must.) Peaches, Asian Doll, L1ef, Abby, Dese plus Juliana Huxtable are just a few of the artists performing and DJing all night. The party begins at at 10pm and there isn’t a time listed for an ending, so cake on that setting spray and bring a travel size hunty. Sweating on deck. You’re better off not wearing makeup to this though, you should be dancing; rolling; on some next shit. I know it seems like there are too many parties to choose from this weekend, and you’re right, but Knockdown Center is a huge, delectable space away from the city, giving you incentive to travel which then should give you incentive to go even more full-out with your costume. Every other party in Manhattan and Brooklyn is going to be packed to the walls. Most people want their ego to win on Halloween, but you’ll get lost in the mix at Club Glow, which is a good thing. That’s how you end up having a better time. Throw it! It’s yours to try.
With performance by Randy Jones - The Cowboy from The Village People
So my friend Sienna is a die-hard Britney fan. Naturally, as a faggot, so am I. She and I live 15 blocks from one another, so nearly every night we get together to listen to a 2000s playlist and hit her pink bong named Carly. We seat ourselves on her roof and unceremoniously pass Carly back and forth while harmonizing to the sweet, sweet music of years past until we’re either post-verbal or just too tired to keep going. My contribution in disseminating the gay agenda includes making everyone listen to Britney Jean Spears whenever I can, so it’s really something like an echo chamber when another staunch fan and I get together. This weekend I have no plans other than to prepare for the odious midterms that are about to ruin my life, but there’s nothing I’d rather do than shave my head and then run to China Chalet to celebrate Britney’s iconic album Blackout. Presented by DJ Ty Sunderland is Heaven On Earth, your escape into a simpler, more glamorous time guided by hits on hits from one of the most legendary pop icons to grace us with her vocal cords. With shows from queens Biblegirl and Wench, you know you’re going to be dazzled, and hosts Youvegotnomale and Linux will make sure to keep everyone lubricated. Since I can’t go and mingle (I’m unavailable) with like-minded individuals who have AMAZING taste, you should! I’d like to be able to vicariously live through this one, so please incessantly post on your insta stories about it. Thanks in advance!