GAYLETTER

I don’t know a lot about cognac, but I do know that it’s liquor, which is pretty good place to start with me. I have yet to meet an alcoholic drink I don’t like, well besides port, but that’s only because I had a bad experience as a 15-year-old getting drunk, home alone on the stuff. I spent the evening watching Bill Hicks’ stand up, then I tried to write my own jokes, I thought they were hilarious, but then I was wasted on port. I ended night by vomiting, and was sick for the next 24 hours.... Back to cognac. This Thursday, October 12,  is your chance to get to know cognac, “the spirit that started it all.” For $50 you’ll get one cocktail at each location, along with a custom tote bag and information on how Cognac came to be the backbone of the classics.” The bars you’ll visit are “Amor y Amargo, Boilermaker NYC, Mace, Nitecap, and Pouring Ribbons.” I can attest that Mace is a great East Village bar, so you’ll be in good hands there. It’s getting to that time of year where a nice strong drink is exactly what we all need. But who am I kidding, a nice strong drink is needed all year round, especially in these dark times. So drink up, and learn something. It’s OK to get sloshed when it’s educational. Right?  —Thomas

You know it’s summer when people start sipping rosé. Personally I don’t do seasons. I’ll wear Spring/Summer in Fall/Winter and vice versa, I’ll drink rosé in December in the snow. But I’m a rebel like that. Most people reserve this light pink drink for the warmer months. rosé is made when grape juice is exposed to grape skins for a couple of days. Any longer and you get red wine. Rosé is a lighter tasting wine than red, yet in some respects it’s more complex than white wine. This Thursday on the roof of Eataly in the Flatiron District (if you haven’t been up there you must, the views, the views!) they are hosting a rosé party. There’s going to be more than 30 featured rosé wines, plus “an opportunity to meet the producers of everyone’s favorite pink drink, the best summer beats with a live DJ, and beachy southern-Italian inspired bites.” I know this sounds like a really Caucasian, Waspy event, and in all likelihood it will be, but Eataly comes correct with their food and wine, so I expect this tasting to be cunt. Plus, did I mention the views. They’re very pretty.  —tom

Let’s be real, let’s be realer than real, let’s be the realest of the real — spending time with your family can be fucking exhausting. Don’t get me wrong, at times it can be fun, but 4 days of sitting around eating and being grilled about your life choices can take a toll. Which is why we suggest you get slushed, on alcoholic slushies! The frozen negroni to the rescue! Family time turns into fun time when everyone’s wasted. Yasss granny, dance like it’s the 40’s! Yasss mommy, read our extended family! Yasss Daddy, spill all the secrets about when you and Mom were young and used to be slutty! Here’s the recipe: “Combine 4.5 ounces of gin, 2.5 ounces of Campari, and 2.5 ounces of sweet vermouth in an airtight container. Place in freezer and freeze for at least 8 hours and up to 3 days. When ready to serve, add chilled alcohol and ice to blender. Blend on high speed until uniform and smooth, about 30 seconds. Pour into rocks glasses or small wine glass. Garnish with an orange slice and serve immediately.” Happy Drunksgiving!  —tom

I was having a real shit day yesterday. I was in a terrible mood, riding my bike through the hellish midtown traffic pissed off at anyone and everything around me. I made it all the way to 15th street when I got stopped by a cop and was given a ticket for going through a red light (I was actually dismounting my bike as I crossed the street to the sidewalk, but the officer wasn’t having it.) $25 later I was rolling down 10th street between 1st and Ave A in an even worse mood when I passed a new shop with the stupid name of ‘Kavasutra.’ I stopped to check it out. I was told that they serve drinks made from the root of the Kava plant. This dreaded hippie with bleary eyes told me that “Polynesians drink it during ceremonies, but we drink it to reduce stress.” Considering my current mood, I figured anything could help. I ordered two shots at the happy hour price of $6 (normally $12) and went home to drink it in front of the TV. 30 minutes later I was chill as fuck — I felt like I’d popped a couple Xanax, except my head felt clear, not foggy like can happen with most sedatives. I started researching this wonderful root and discovered that there is indeed a lot of science to back up the claims made by Kava fanatics. The active ingredients of the root inhibits certain receptors while elevating the release of dopamine. All I know is it worked!  —tom

Mexican food is one cuisine I never get sick of, which is great because this city never runs out of new Mexican restaurants. One we’d like to recommend this week is Tijuana Picnic. We had the pleasure of dining there last weekend and are ready for more. The menu works best for group dining, while there are bigger plates, there’s a lot more small plates. Our favorite of theses were the delicate fluke and snapper ceviches, the duck empanadas and the Korean inspired short rib skewers. You must also try the guacamole... obvs. The drinks are also on point. We recommend you try the tequila flights. You get 3 kinds of tequila grouped by region. Upstairs is the place to eat and downstairs is the place to party. On the weekends a DJ spins tracks while people mingle around the large downstairs bar. Two rather cute, and super curious straight boys stopped by our table to get to know us. They couldn’t get enough of us, and we even joined them downstairs for a drink after dinner. I only mention this to illustrate the fact that Tijuana Picnic is designed to encourage interaction (there’s one seriously long table in the middle of the main dining room) which is wonderful if you’re horny, or just feeling friendly ;)  —tom